When you have people speaking to you who are angry and upset, and you nevertheless remain very present and continue to treat them with kindness and respect, you place yourself in a position of great power. You become a means for the situation to be graciously diffused and wisely healed. A Zen teacher once said, "When somebody backs themselves into a corner, look the other way until they get themselves out. And then act as though it never happened." Allowing people to save face in this way and not reminding them of what they already know is not their most intelligent behavior is an act of great kindness. This is possible when we realize that people behave in such ways because they are in a place of great suffering. People react to their own thoughts and feelings- their behavior often has nothing directly to do with us.
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